Tuesday, 6 December 2016

What's happening to me?


Let me put a warning before you start reading: This post might come off as a negative one. Therefore, if you are happy right now, I recommend you to just leave and come back tomorrow for a gleeful post. And if you're already feeling low in life, you're welcome.

Since a month, I am not really happy. You know what the meaning of happiness is, right? I'm not feeling that precisely. I have temporary happiness like the orgasmic experience after having a loaded cheese pizza or when the selfies come right. But the always-positive, always-happy me? Well, I ain't feeling myself right now. 

I feel it's all a mess. There's chaos in my mind and I'm looking for peace. I have million things to do, but do not have much time to execute. When I feel like I'm doing great blogging-wise, I feel fat standing in front of the mirror. When I feel like my Instagram account is improving, I remember I have something highly important to submit on this 8th. I am confused between what exactly I want to do ahead. I have plans in my head, but no mental strength to put those in effect. And then again, I feel fat. I am constantly slouching and always out-of-energy. I'm turning out to be a pessimist. 
I'm sure my friends have observed this negative change. I'm cribbing, complaining, criticizing...

Well, we have a research based dissertation this semester and the first colloquium is on the 8th. Everybody from the class is ready with topic(s) and running behind the professors. On the contrary, I have just revised one topic in my head. No tangible account of what I've thought about. I just don't feel like it, you know? I don't feel like writing down anything. 

I want a big break. I'm tired of slouching, tired of feeling sick. I want this education to get done and then I just want to relax and not have any parallel stuff to worry about. Whew, life has become difficult...

What else? How are you?
xoxo